When life is stressing you out, it takes a lot more effort and energy to cope with all of your day-to-day stuff.
By the time the end of the day comes, you can feel so depleted that rather than seeking out connection and touch, we can find ourselves longing for an opportunity to spend some time alone. Longing for some extra me time and for some physical separateness.
When you find yourself feeling that way, rather than experiencing touch and affection as something that is nourishing and nurturing, you might find yourself tolerating touch it or even avoiding it. Even when it’s not sexual.
When you’re feeling stressed, unsettled or unwell, your body might not respond to touch or sexual touch in the usual way.
- Like they are leaning heavily on you
- Like they are pushing you
- Like they are trying to annoy you
- It irritates you
- You feel like pushing them away
- It all feels a bit much
It can feel like your partner is touching you this way on purpose, like they are not being careful with you but it’s important to remember that they might actually be touching you in their usual way.
Imagine holding a helium balloon in your hands. This balloon has been blown up tight. If you held the balloon in one hand and ran your other hand over the surface you would feel the static sitting on the surface.
If you were the balloon and you were stretched and filled to the brim with stress and other stuff that was exhausting your system, then your skin could respond in a similar manner. You can become super sensitive to touch. It’s almost as if your system can’t handle any more stimulus and touch overloads and overwhelms it.
If you release some of the pressure out of the balloon, you would feel some of the surface tension dissolve. Now the balloon has some give, now it’s got some room in it to receive.
Our systems are not all that different.
As stress starts leaving your system you become more open and able to receive.