DEFINING MALE SEXUAL FUNCTIONING WHEN TALKING TO A SEX THERAPIST
DEFINING MALE SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
WHEN TALKING TO A SEX THERAPIST
LETS TALK ABOUT SEXUAL STAMINA,
MAINTAINING YOUR ERECTION, LOOSING YOUR ERECTION
PREMATURE EJACULATION PE AND DELAYED EJACULATION
A client came in the other day talking about his sexual stamina. We spent some discussing what he was referring to when he spoke about his sexual stamina.
All was going well until I realised that he was using sexual stamina to describe two very different experiences. D’oh!
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT ?
I think that it’s great that we all describe and language our sexual experiences a little differently. Unfortunately, that usually doesn’t work out so well when that happens in the therapeutic environment.
That’s why I’m sharing the way I describe and define various aspects of male sexual functioning.
If you happen to describe or define things differently let me know.
LETS START WITH
YOU MIGHT SAY SOMETHING LIKE:
- MY SEXUAL STAMINA IS NO GOOD
- I USED TO HAVE GOOD STAMINA BUT THAT HAS CHANGED NOW
- THE STAMINA IS GONE AFTER FIVE MINUTES
Now that we’ve established that you’re not lasting as long as you would like to or as long as you used to, we need to establish what caused the stamina to end.
You know that you have ejaculated when the sperm (the liquid) leaves the penis and it feels like sex is over. It feels like there is no more stamina and you might feel tired and more relaxed.
Premature ejaculation feels like you have limited or no control over when you ejaculate.
Ejaculation is considered premature or rapid when it happens sooner than you or your partner want it to.
Some men ejaculate:
- As soon as foreplay starts
- When they try putting the condom on
- When they try to insert their penis inside the vagina
- You ejaculate very quickly after penetration (within a few thrusts)
- You ejaculate very quickly after penetration within a minute or two
Premature ejaculation can cause a lot of personal distress and create tension and relationship difficulties.
There is no set definition to describe ‘how long is too long’, but a persistent (and unwanted) delay of ejaculation that lasts for 30 to 60 minutes could suggest delayed ejaculation.
It may seem like it takes you forever to ejaculate during sexual penetration
- You may struggle to ejaculate at all during sex
- You may not be able to ejaculate through penetration
This can lead to marathon sessions with their partner.
However, some guys are able to ejaculate a lot sooner during masturbation.
Erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to achieve or maintain an erection adequate for sexual function (penetration).
CAN'T GET AN ERECTION
You may or may not be able to gain an erection when you are on your own or when your’re with a parter or just with a parter.
- My penis can’t get hard when I’m with my parter
- I can get hard on my own but not when I am with someone
- I can’t get hard when I’m on my own or with someone
CAN'T MAINTAIN AN ERECTION
This happens when you can get an erection but then after a while your penis goes soft even though you HAVE NOT ejaculated.
This can happen before penetration and during sexual intercourse:
- To soft for penetration – your hard erection has become soft and you can not put your penis inside
- During Penetration – You had an erection when you started sex but then your penis goes soft
- You struggle getting an erection
- Maintaining an erection during penetration
- If it takes you a very long time to ejaculate
- If you can’t ejaculate during penetration
- Ejaculating faster than you’d like to
- If this affecting your relationship or stopping you from getting into one
- If this is distressing you