If you found yourself having sex with a new person later in life, would safe sex practices even cross your mind? Or does safer sex still feel like something you only really need to think about when you’re younger?

By the time we reach our 50s, 60s and beyond, safer sex may simply no longer be on our radar. It isn’t necessarily something we dismiss or decide we don’t need. It may simply not occur to us.

After all, for decades, conversations about condoms, STI testing and safer sex have been directed primarily towards younger people. You’ve heard those messages. You may even have preached about them yourself. But many years have passed, and the conversations you have about sex and relationships have probably changed. Safe sex may simply not have been part of them.

You may have been in a long-term relationship for many years. You may not have thought about condoms since your twenties. You may be returning to dating after divorce or the death of a partner. Or you may simply find yourself having sex with a new person later in life.

And suddenly, there is a part of sexual health you may not have thought about for decades.

what does safer sex actually mean?

If you’ve started a new sexual relationship later in life, let’s have the conversation we may have simply forgotten we needed to have: STI prevention.

Condoms are one of the simplest ways to reduce the risk of passing on many sexually transmitted infections. They work by creating a physical barrier that prevents semen, vaginal fluids and other bodily fluids from coming into contact with a partner, and they also reduce direct contact with infected areas covered by the condom.

They aren’t perfect protection against every STI. Infections such as herpes, HPV and syphilis can sometimes be passed through skin-to-skin contact outside the area covered by a condom. But using condoms correctly and consistently can significantly reduce the risk of many infections.

And condoms aren’t the only part of safer sex.

If you’re beginning a sexual relationship with someone new, STI testing is another part of protecting your sexual health. Many STIs don’t cause symptoms, so neither of you can necessarily tell whether you have one simply by feeling well or looking healthy.

Having an STI check can give both partners a clearer picture of their sexual health. It can be particularly useful when you’re starting a new sexual relationship and deciding how you want to approach safer sex.

It doesn’t need to be awkward or suspicious. You might simply say:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had to think about this. Why don’t we both get checked?”

That’s not an accusation. It’s simply two people taking responsibility for their sexual health.

Now, between you and me, let’s be honest. The idea of using condoms might sound terrible. And perhaps using them really is as unpleasant as you imagine it will be.

Then there is the other side of it. You decide to get tested, talk to your GP about your sex life, and are told that based on what you’ve described, your risk is very low and there isn’t really a reason to test.

So now you can feel as though you’re asking to be tested for something nobody thinks you need to be tested for. And that whole experience can feel uncomfortable, awkward and even a little embarrassing.

I know I’m not exactly selling the glamorous side of safer sex here. But I think it is important to be realistic about what choosing safer sex can actually involve.

is this actually something you need to think about?

You might be wondering whether this is actually something that happens to people over 50.

Australia does not publish one simple figure for “the percentage of people over 50 who have an STI.” Most national data are notifications or diagnoses rather than the true number of people living with an STI. Because many STIs cause no symptoms and not everyone gets tested, the actual number of infections is likely to be higher.

One Australian analysis looked at STI notifications from 2017–2023 and broke them down into five-year age groups. Among locally acquired infections, the numbers were:

Among Australians aged 50 and over, the numbers included:

These are notifications accumulated over 2017–2023, rather than the number of people currently infected. But they make one thing very clear: STIs don’t suddenly stop being diagnosed when we reach 50. They continue through our 50s, 60s and 70s.

That doesn’t mean that people over 50 are at greater risk than younger people. They aren’t. It simply means that age doesn’t make us immune to an STI.

And perhaps that is the more important message. Safer sex may have fallen off your radar not because you decided it wasn’t necessary, but because you simply haven’t had to think about it for a very long time.

If you’re now having sex with someone new, it may be time to put it back on the radar.

what does that mean in practice?

You don’t need to turn sex into a medical exercise. You don’t need to assume that every new partner has an STI. And you don’t need to become frightened about something that may never happen.

You simply need to remember that sexual health is still part of having sex.

If you’re having sex with a new partner and you don’t know each other’s STI status, condoms can reduce the risk of many STIs. Testing can also be useful, particularly because many infections cause no symptoms.

If condoms haven’t been a part of your life for decades, you may simply need to get used to the idea of using them again.

You may not like them. Your partner may not like them. And when pregnancy is no longer a concern, they may seem unnecessary.

But pregnancy prevention and STI prevention are two different things.

You don’t have to be worried about STIs to think about them. You simply have to be sexually active.