Some couples just don’t like each other.
They tolerate each other because they don’t want to break up their family, they are afraid of being alone and these days many couples just can’t afford to separate.
Despite all of this, they come into sex therapy wanting me to help them get hot and horny for each other. Or at least help them find a way of being able to say yes to sex and to enjoy it.
I think so.
Well maybe.
I mean if you’re with someone who isn’t so nice or with someone who isn’t willing to work on this with you, then maybe not.
But if you genuinely want to find a way of reconnecting, then working on your sex life can help you feel more connected. It can infuse your relationship with much-needed attention, communication, collaboration and affection.
Every now and then clients will share a story about their childhood, a memory from a party they went to in their 20’s, this experience they had this one time with a lover in London years ago.
As they talk and share I get to know them.
They take me on this fabulous journey and just as we start travelling deeper into their story they will suddenly stop and say something like “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get off track” or they will say “Is it Ok for us to be talking about this stuff with you?”
It’s more than OK.
Your sex life does not exist in a vacuum.
I don’t need to know everything but I do need to get to know you and what’s been influencing your sex-life and your life in general. Your past and your current circumstances are a part of your journey, your timeline.
You bring with you your history, your relationships and all of your past experiences into the bedroom.
I realise that it can sometimes feel like you’re wasting time by sharing stories about how things used to be when what you really want is to spend all of our time together working towards the sex life that you want. But if I don’t get to know you, what works for you, what doesn’t and whats been tripping you guys up along the way, then we won’t be able to create a personalised plan that has the potential to create the changes and the experiences that you desire.
In other words, you have not gone off topic.
Everything that you are sharing is awesome.
Time and time again I watch clients flourish when they start working on their sex lives.
We often don’t realise the degree to which our sex lives are affecting our lives.
The idea of working through all of this can be overwhelming.
But most of the time, the pathway forward is far less difficult and complex than we think it will be.
Sceptical? Check out what my clients have to say after their first session.
Why not book in for a session and then you can decide if this is for you.
I look forward to meeting you,