ALICE LOOKED UP AT ME WITH TEARY EYES, SHE GAZED OFF TO THE SIDE AND NERVOUSLY SAID
"I'M SO EMBARRASSED. I HATE TALKING ABOUT THIS." A WAVE OF EMOTION CAME OVER HER, TEARS WERE FLOWING AND SHE SLOWLY BEGAN TO TALK "I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX, I CAN'T HAVE SEX, IT WON'T GO IN, IT HURTS LIKE HELL, I HATE SEX, I HATE MY BODY.
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, I JUST WANT THIS FIXED AND I WANT THIS TO BE OVER. I'M EXHAUSTED. CAN YOU HELP ME?"
What's wrong with me?
I won’t lie, when I hear these stories I want to cry and sometimes I tear up.
Whether we call it Pain During Sex, Female Sexual Pain, Painful Sex, Pelvic Pain, Vulvodynia, Dysparenia, Vaginismus, the summary is that It Hurts.
Clients come in and tell me that it feels like:
- Their skin is tearing
- Their skin is burning
- It hurts just on the outside
- It hurts mainly on the inside
- It hurts sometimes
- It always hurts
- It hurts after sex
- They can have sex but it hurts
- They can get it in, but it hurts so much that they won’t allow anything near it.
- It feels like there is a brick wall at the entrance of their vagina and nothing can get in
It pains me that we don’t talk about this. That people in health related fields can still have no training and no knowledge of Female Sexual Pain Disorders.
If you are one of the thousands of women who have been told by their GP, Gynaecologist or health practitioner that
- They can’t see anything
- Everything looks normal
- It’s all your head
- They don’t know what its is.
- JUST RELAX
I understand the pain and heartache that these experiences and setbacks can cause you.
You and I both know how unacceptable this is. It is scary to think that people don’t know about female sexual health.
Sadly this is a familiar story. It happens here in Australia and around the world.
- Self esteem
- Your Sexuality
- Your relationships
- Your relationship with your body
- Fear of entering into a relationship
- Fear that your partner will leave you
- Fear of the pain you are about to experience
- You find yourself avoiding intimacy
- Avoiding relationships
- You can get very depressed
- Feel the shame of an unconsummated marriage or relationship
- Anxiety and Sadness when you think about fertility issues
- Discourage that you can’t find the help you need
- Discouraged and Angry that people don’t know what you are talking about
You will no longer feel like you are working on this alone.
I will not tell you that you are mad or crazy or that this is all in your head.
We will work together to help you heal your past.
I will be there to support you as we work together to help you through the physical and emotional healing processes.
I understand how hard it is to talk to someone about this, how hard it is to disclose some of this stuff because it is so personal.
I promise that I will not judge you.
This will be a safe space for you to bitch, vent and heal.
If you have been unsuccessful in the past but you want to give fixing this another go,
If you have never spoken to someone about any of this before but want to.
I’m looking forward to meeting you,