What's wrong with me?
I won’t lie, when I hear stories like this I want to cry and sometimes I do.
Whether we call it Pain During Sex, Female Sexual Pain, Painful Sex, Pelvic Pain, Vulvodynia, Dyspareunia, Vaginismus, the summary is that It Hurts.
Clients come in and tell me that it feels like:
- Their skin is tearing
- Their skin is burning
- It hurts just on the outside
- It hurts mainly on the inside
- It hurts sometimes
- It always hurts
- It hurts after sex
- They can have sex but it hurts
- It feels like there is a brick wall at the entrance of their vagina and nothing can get in
- They can get it in, but it hurts so much that they don’t want to do it again
It pains me that we don’t talk about this and that many healthcare professionals have had insufficient or no training in female sexual anatomy Female Sexual Pain Disorders.
If you are one of the thousands of women who have been told by their GP, Gynaecologist or health practitioner that
- Everything looks normal
- It’s all in your head
- Use more lubricant
- JUST RELAX more
If penetration is impossible. If sex really hurts and you talk to someone who makes you feel like it’s all in your head, like you’re just not trying hard enough, then their knowledge about why sex hurts isn’t good enough.
You and I both know how unacceptable this is. It’s scary to think that people don’t know about female sexual health. Unfortunately, feedback like this leaves you feeling like the problem is all in your head and that there isn’t much that can be done about it. So you go home feeling deflated and let down by the system.
- Self esteem
- Your happiness
- Your Sexuality
- Your relationships
- Your relationship with your body
- Fear that your partner will leave you
- Fear of the pain you are about to experience
- You avoid intimacy
- You avoid relationships
- You can get very depressed
- You get anxous and sad thinking about fertility issues
- Discourage that you can’t find the help you need
You will no longer feel like you are working on this alone.
I will not tell you that you are mad or crazy or that this is all in your head.
I will be there to support you as we work together to help you through the physical and emotional healing processes.
I understand how hard it is to talk to someone about this, how hard it is to disclose some of this stuff because it is so personal.
I promise that I will not judge you.
This will be a safe space for you to vent and heal.
If you have been unsuccessful in the past but you want to give fixing this another go,
If you have never spoken to someone about any of this before but want to.
I look forward to meeting you.